Often when a new parent walks into my
clinic, it is not uncommon for them to ask me how many of my past clients have
been “mainstreamed”. As a therapist I am willing to acknowledge that the
success of intervention lies in how near “normal” the child has reached. But as
a human being I often wonder if a child is a success only if he goes to a
mainstream school? how can we ignore the success of the child who despite all
odds, stood tall in every task he completed? Are academics the only measure of
success? At times like this, I often remember a mother and child who I taught
sometime between 2004–2008.
I first met Maher and Rahath when
Maher was 4 years old (Names not changed, they deserve the credit for what they
have achieved). He had already been through an early intervention programme and
was referred to me as a child who was not ready to enter the mainstream. 2 or 3
years down the line, Maher had still not entered the mainstream and he went on
to join the special school I was running in those days.
At 5 Maher could sight read a number
of words. He could do simple addition. And by 6 he was a whiz at using
Microsoft Paintbrush. Every image he created on Paintbrush was a wonder for us.
He had taught himself to use Paintbrush with absolutely no help whatsoever. And
he wouldn’t allow any interference with it to the extent that Rahath would save
the images after tricking him away from the PC. Rahath never stopped marvelling
at his ability. She herself was technologically challenged in those days. All
the while Maher remained minimally verbal. Drawing words out of him was more
challenging than pulling teeth with a pair of tweezers.
This was a mother who had totally
devoted herself to her children. She was staying here in Bangalore solely for
Maher as she felt that the place where her husband worked did not have adequate
special education facilities. With a lot of persuasion, she finally moved back
with her husband. But she never forgot the early intervention years and
remained in touch.
Whenever someone asks me about my
successes, it is so hard for me to disregard Maher. I know that if I speak of
Maher to a young parent, he/she might feel disheartened. He/she might even feel
if this is a success then what can we really expect out of this therapist. Yet
Maher had been diagnosed as severely autistic. Yes, he is still minimally
verbal. But his mother never gave up on him. And she never stopped appreciating
him. Every visit to Bangalore she never forgot to meet me and thank me. When I
asked her permission to use his video for this write up, her reaction was, “you
are his guru Vanitha, you can use it”.
Rahath’s belief in her son and her
determination to help him at all cost is something that needs to be lauded.
Yes, the child who goes to mainstream is a success but these are the real
heroes. Heroes who never stop the hard work. Unlike many parents who drop out
of intervention programs as soon as the child learns to speak, these children
slog all their lives, just to learn every little task others take for granted.
And unlike many teenagers who may not pick up their scattered belongings in
their room, Maher, takes pride in pouring out tea for his mother, running the
washing machine for her or even putting away her shopping. How many mothers are
able to say that their child helps so much around the house?
I would like to share this little
video of Maher undergoing training at his vocational centre. Proud of you Maher
and Rahath!
